therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
