Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He felt like a one man threesome
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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