omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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