This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
