She is in my trunk
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
