this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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