ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
