First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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