What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I could fuck to npr.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
