Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
