Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
