He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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