Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
In other news, I just burned my penis
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
