Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
