"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think im going to throw up on grandma
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
