let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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