so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This is the high leading the old right now
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
