Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
