Sry I called you an 8
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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