4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
