I'm really into asian looking animals
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
