My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Shame is for Republicans.
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