did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
