Just fell off a train. Bad.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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