It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
