u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
