I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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