what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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