I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
