how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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