I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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