There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
