so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
