i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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