69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He felt like a one man threesome
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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