i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
