I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
