We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
