whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize