my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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