Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
