She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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