Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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