take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
