So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
