I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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