So drunk its hurt
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
