Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
