i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
