God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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