I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
