That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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