NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
