swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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