Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Omg I joined a choir last night...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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