Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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