it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
