just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
