And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
