**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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