I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
