Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
