I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
