But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
